One quarter of the season has been played and certain teams are beginning to show their true colors one way or the other… Only one unbeaten team out there and nobody is putting any money on KC to win the superbowl, I can assure you of that… Here’s how I see them stacking up after what I’ve seen so far.
Rank/Team/W-L/Last Wk
HEAVYWEIGHTS/THE RICH TYCOONS
1. Ravens 3-1 (6) Flaccid Flacco came up huge last week and with 2 quality road wins, they make the leap up to top my list.
2. Steelers 3-1 (2) Almost ran the table without Rape-lisburgher, but 3-1 isn’t too shabby either.
3. Jets 3-1 (5) Fat Rex has this team humming…hopefully not eating or giving speeches at church’s or drinking and driving at 5 a.m.
4. Packers 3-1 (3) It is a little concerning that they couldn’t put the Stafford-less Lions away after building a big lead at home…
5. Saints 3-1 (4) A win is a win is a win, but struggling with the toothless Panthers isn’t a good sign.
6. Colts 2-2 (1) Gave up 31 points to the Jaguars??? The Jaguars, really?? You gotta be kidding me….
7. Texans 3-1 (8) Escaped the Black Hole with a win without laying an egg and looking like A-holes…
8. Falcons 3-1 (7) Thank God for the tools known as the San Francisco 49’ers… especially that D Gig DB who got stripped of the ball after the pick.
9. Patriots 3-1 (13) Defense is still a work in progress with all the kids, but got a huge road win to get that particular monkey off their backs..
10. Cowboys 1-2 (9) I hope they didn’t get liquored-up in Mexico on their bye week with a wide-open NFC East to be had.
11. Chargers 2-2 (14) Okay, so you can wax the JV squads at home, big deal.. Show us you aren’t soft beach bums and win away from California..
MIDDLEWEIGHTS/THE WORKING STIFFS
12. Vikings 1-2 (12) Enjoy this ranking for now Queen fans, your AARP-card carrying QB is going to get blasted this week by the Jets…
13. Broncos 2-2 (22) Nice road win for Little Hoodie and his herd of Donkeys..
14. Chiefs 3-0 (18) I hope for KC’s fans, that the clock doesn’t strike midnight any time soon…they remind me of the 2009 Donkeys..
15. Dolphins 2-2 (11) Maybe if Tough Guy Sparano took off his sunglasses for night games, he might see he has a better QB on the bench in Pennington than Henne.
16. Titans 2-2 (16) Did you see Little Hoodie call out Porn Stache for running a cheap shot team? Not sure if that was wise, but it’s true!
17. Bengals 2-2 (15) How long before this Ship of Fools starts listing and taking on water?
18. Bucs 2-1 (21) Moved up on their bye week because most others hurt themselves.
19. Giants 2-2 (23) Where has this pass rush been all year? That was good deodorant for the rest of that squad.
20. Jaguars 2-2 (26) Probably saved DelRio’s job with that game, and I don’t think that’s a good thing.
21. Bears 3-1 (17) They are who I thought they were! …and if you want to crown their ass, you’re dumb…
22. Redskins 2-2 (24) Just too physical for the soft-tackling finesse team from Philadelphia highlighted by Asante Samuel.
23. Eagles 2-2 (10) Tell me again why you traded McNabb within the division and why that was a good move?
LIGHTWEIGHTS/THE BUMS
24. Rams 2-2 (28) I’m telling ya, this is the best team in their division and Bradford is the real deal.
25. Seahawks 2-2 (19) With Pete Carroll at the helm, this team will never be a physical, mentally-tough team. They just won’t…
26. Raiders 1-3 (25) The only Black Hole in Oakland is the career-hole players fall into when they get traded to or drafted by these clowns.
27. Cardinals 2-2 (20) Their mini-run of the past 3 years is officially OVER.
28. Browns 1-3 (29) Mangina celebrated his first win of the year by eating about 3 dozen doughnuts and nibbling on cheese hoping to avoid the rat trap….
29. Lions 0-4 (31) Gave GB all they could handle…still have nice Uni’s though….
30. Niners 0-4 (27) Wow, what can I say after I say I’m sorry for believing in this team and picking them to win the NFC West? I’ve got 2 more losses in the “when does Singletary get canned” pool…
31. Bills 0-4 (30) Forget playing some games in Toronto, move the whole franchise to the CFL…
32. Panthers 0-4 (32) Steve Smith is out, one of their other WR’s got picked up for DUI last night, they play a rookie QB, their offense is dead-last in points scored…. Meow……