After two weeks we’re starting to get a flavor of who’s who this year. Some preseason favorites are winless and there are some surprises at 2-0. The jury’s still out on some of these squads but as we move on, the cream will rise to the top and the turds will sink to the bottom.
Rank/Team/W-L/Last Wk
HEAVYWEIGHTS/FIRST CLASS CABIN
1.Saints 2-0 (1) Still a formidable offense but will have to weather Reggie Bush’s absence. Still waiting for someone to explain to me why Bush forfeited his Heisman and O.J. Simpson still has his…..
2.Packers 2-0 (2) A team on the rise… its still early but with 12.5% of the precincts reporting they are looking mighty strong on both sides of the ball.
3.Colts 1-1 (4) There aren’t too many teams who even have a shot of beating these guys, nevermind actually pulling it off….
4.Texans 2-0 (5) A HUGE comeback win in DC, the kind that can propel a good young team for the whole year…
5.Ravens 1-1 (3) Instead of blaming the refs again, how about pointing the finger at Joe (Bledsoe) Flacco? This guy will ultimately be their downfall.
6.Jets 1-1 (10) Ok, Ok the Sanchize isn’t a big stiff, but he WAS playing against a weak-sister NE defense, so I’ll wait to see him against better defenses before I crown his ass.
7.Steelers 2-0 (9) I’ve been telling everyone not to sleep on this team and so far, they are weathering Big Ben’s absence quite nicely I would say.
8.Chargers 1-1 (11) Got just what the doctor ordered last week when the toothless Jags showed up at the Murph…
9.Dolphins 2-0 (17) Personally, I am baffled at how this team can be 2-0…I mean how are they doing it? Good defense or good luck to draw an awful Bills team and a dysfunctional Queen team at the right time, you tell me….
MIDDLEWEIGHTS/COACH CABIN
10.Patriots 1-1 (6) A pretender if I ever saw one… can’t play on the road, can’t hold halftime leads, can’t make adjustments at the half… they’ll beat up stiffs at home and wow the media, but don’t be fooled by this group.
11.Bengals 1-1 (14) Nice rebound game and against their division rivals to boot… maybe there’s hope for them yet…
12.Vikings 0-2 (7) Don’t know about you, but I’m enjoying the hell out of watching the ancient-one look like crap after blowing off training camp again and the Bald Guy trying to look like he’s in charge…Funny stuff..
13.Eagles 1-1 (16) This will probably be the highest the Birds will be ranked all year, so enjoy it all you miserable Eagle Fans….
14.Falcons 1-1 (15) Right according to the script, they bounce back and look good at home. Just like the Pats, tough to take em seriously if they can’t win on the road.
15.Cowboys 0-2 (8) Having Wade Phillips coaching this team is like having me drive a Formula One race car. Sure, I could probably drive it and get it around the track, but I ain’t winning anything!
16.Giants 1-1 (12) Wow, what the hell happened to this team? They looked terrible in the Manning Bowl and it’s looking like time to blow this whole thing up.
17.Titans 1-1 (13) Porn Stache didn’t show a lot of faith towards VY, did he? He didn’t have that quick of a hook for Kerry Collins last year. He’s trying to show up the owner I think.
18.Bears 2-0 (20) You’re gonna have to beat somebody else besides a Detroit team that really should’ve won or a Wade Phillips-coached gag squad in Big D before I move you up…
19.Chiefs 2-0 (23) Good start for the Patriots West… fools gold perhaps, but 2-0 is 2-0, no?
20.Broncos 1-1 (27) Got their first win for Little Hoodie and Donkey fans everywhere rejoiced….
LIGHTWEIGHTS/BAGGAGE COMPARTMENT
21.Bucs 2-0 (28) Not exactly playing the iron of the league in Cleveland and Carolina, but they don’t make the schedule.
22.Redskins 1-1 (19) Probably should be ranked higher, but when you have a team on the ropes you have to deliver the knockout.
23.Seahawks 1-1 (21) Just another team who looked good at home in week 1 and like garbage on the road in week 2.
24.Niners 0-2 (24) I really like this team’s potential, but you can’t make the unforced mistakes you made last night against quality teams and expect to win…
25.Cardinals 1-1 (18) Can you send 3 lineman to Dancing with the Stars to talk Kurt Warner into hanging up his patent leather dancing shoes for some cleats?
26.Raiders 1-1 (29) They are the Don Rickles of the NFL world, outdated and irrelevent…
27.Jaguars 1-1 (24) Picking against the Jags on the road on West Coast is the easiest money you’ll ever make….look it up.
28.Lions 0-2 (26) At least they’re competitive…
29.Panthers 0-2 (25) The pussycats are toothless even with Steve Smith…
30.Bills 0-2 (30) After week 2, they’re already re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic… er… I mean changing Quarterback’s……
31.Browns 0-2 (31) Even diehard Cleveland fans wouldn’t hold it against Lebron if he left THIS team…..
32.Rams 0-2 (32) The Lambs are silent so far….